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Megamenu-2

Comedy of Errors (Spanish style) in at least 2 acts

posted by Graham on Thu, 25/02/2016 - 17:36
Places in this post: 
Valencia City

Friday I experienced what can only seem to happen to me and only then in Spain.

After a week away, I returned to Valencia Airport. Paid the car park ticket at the machine (as instructed by the car park office when I dropped the car off) then the 5 minute walk to long term car park. Rats .. I'd left the inside light on in my car and had a flat battery - ah well, phoned the Insurance Company

Insurance & car park office in English, everyone else in Spanish

me: I have a flat battery, I am in the P4 long term car park at Valencia Airport
them: We'll have some one with you in 30 minutes

while waiting I go back to Car Park office and tell them what's happened
them: just pay the excess when you leave

After 30 minutes I get a phone call (in Spanish)
them: whereabouts in Alicante airport are you?
me: I'm not in Alicante I am in Valencia Airport
them: so thats Avenida de Alicante
me: No, that's Valencia Airport I'm not in Alicante

Another 10 minutes go by, a different number calls
them: where in Alicante are you
me (swearing under my breath): I'm not in Alicante I am at Valencia Airport

Another 10 minutes goes by, the insurance company phone me back (note that)
them: Mister Hays we need more information - can please tell me your name and telephone number
me: well seeing as you've just called me and used my name I suspect you already have that information
them: ah ... where in Alicante are you
me: I am NOT in Alicante I am at Valencia Airport
them: we will have someone with you as soon as they've finished lunch (lucky them)

20 minutes later, another call
them: whereabouts in Alicante are you?
me (stifling a scream): I'm not in Alicante I am in Valencia Airport

10 minutes later. it's the insurance again
them: whereabouts in Alicante are you?
me: I'm not in Alicante I am in Valencia Airport

10 minutes later, another call from the breakdown truck (and yes, you've guessed it)
them: whereabouts in Alicante are you?
me: I'm not in Alicante I am in Valencia Airport

5 minutes later, yet another call from a different breakdown truck
them: whereabouts in Valencia are you?
me: Valencia Airport, long term car park

5 minutes go by and he turns up (hallelujah), starts my car and drives off.

I drive to the barrier which says my ticket is invalid. I park about 100 metres away from the nearest ticket payment machine (it's in the next car park) and leaving my engine running, run to the machine.

Ticket invalid, I press the help button
me: I can't get out of the car park and the machine says ticket invalid
them: put your ticket in the machine (¿eh?)
Ticket invalid
them: you haven't paid
me: yes I have
them: no you haven't
me yes I have it's stamped with the payment and I have the credit card receipt
them: where did you pay
me: P1 ticket machine
them (shouting, I joke not): Why did you do that, you have to pay at the car park office
me: because that is what I was told to do when I dropped the car off
them: you will have to come to the office
me: I can't, I had a flat battery and I'm not turning off the engine

Stony silence for several minutes. I go back to the car (it's still there) and drive to the exit .. heck, it's the only exit so I block it and am not moving. I wave at the CC TV cameras. I press the help button at the barrier, and tell them yet again "Ticket Invalid". Again stony silence.

5 minutes later an attendant arrives .. he doesn't speak English but we can get by on my poor Spanish. We try the ticket again "Ticket invalid". We go back to the pay machine leaving my car engine still running. "Ticket Invalid" is still the response. They reset the machine (which for some reason takes about 5 minutes). Ticket in .. Ticket invalid!!!!

attendant (after phone conversation with office): put your credit card in

I do so and get a bill for €5 which I pay and get a new ticket. Back to the car park. New ticket in, here we go .. "Ticket Invalid"

At this point the attendant who really has tried his hardest, rolled his eyes said something into his mobile in Spanish which I didn't understand but knew exactly what he meant..

"For ***** sake just open the barrier" - barriers goes up and at long, long last I can head home as I said only to me and so typically Spanish (but I still love'em) I should add that I txt-ed the location to everyone of the breakdown trucks, and can anyone tell me how "Aeropuerto de Valencia" sounds even remotely like "Alicante" (with or without Aeropuerto). Oh, and other than in denying I was there, the word "Alicante" didn't leave my lips.

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